Did you know that worrying is a sin in God’s eyes and God does not give sin a degree of seriousness? We do that as humans. All sin is equal in God’s eyes. I had to learn that before I could let my children go.
Now, I know this seems heavy, but I promise it will all make sense.
Let me start by saying I was the world’s worst when it came to worrying about my children. The more children I had the worse it got. I have three just in case you did not know. I would have terrible nightmares about things happening to them. At least I did with the first two, Taira and Kelsie. By the time Joshua came along, I had figured out how to stop the nightmares. It took me long enough. Ha! Ha!
I know it is normal for parents to worry about their children. However, it can control your life and your children’s lives. I would not let the girls play with the neighbor kids unless they played in our yard and I was outside with them. I got to the point that I did not even trust my own family. I mean my dad, mom, and even my husband and I know that they would not harm the girls in any way. I had seen so many bad stories on the news about family members sexually molesting children that I did not want to leave my children with anyone.
When I went back to work and had to find a babysitter that was the worst!
I would have nightmares about someone taking the girls and doing horrible things to them and I could not do anything to stop them. I would most nights get 3 to 4 hours of sleep. Once I woke up crying I could not get back to sleep and if I did I would go right back into the same dream I had just woke up from. It was the worst feeling of helplessness I have ever felt.
I would pray, God please stop the nightmares. It seemed like he was not listening because this went on for about 3 years.
On Wednesday night at bible study, Pastor Sam, a very wise man, talked about it being a sin to worry. So I asked him, how do you not worry about your children, your job, your finances, life in general? He told me, well the whole class, that this where faith comes in. If you have true faith in God and his ability to take care of things you have nothing to worry about.
It’s easier said than done! How do you just let go, have no control? We as humans are so control-oriented that we need to be in control of everything! Pastor Sam also said that he had fallen short in this area himself. I know, I know, he is human. I think that we tend to put pastors and preachers on a pedestal. I am guilty of that! I realized that there was hope for me! Yeah!
We went home from church and went through our normal routine. Of course, I had the worst nightmare of them all that night. I woke up crying and I said this is it. I got down on my knees and prayed. I told God to take my children, not literally! I told God the children he had blessed me with were he and I realized that my husband and I were just adoptive parents. I thanked him for allowing my husband and me to have this opportunity to raise God’s children. I asked God to help us to be the parents that he wanted us to be and to give us wisdom and guidance to bring up Godly children. I told him that I was not going to worry about my children any longer, that I was turning them over to him for protection.
PRAISE GOD! I did not have another nightmare about my children after that! It took me 3 years to learn that, when all I would have needed was 1 hour with God. I am a little slow sometimes. Ha! Ha!
I wanted to share this personal experience with you because as parents we tend to worry about our children too much. I am not saying now I can just let them do whatever they want to and think they are protected. I am saying that I can watch them grow and keep them safe while they are with me because I know God’s got their back when I am not there.
I think that deserves another PRAISE GOD!!!